A’Kai Silks

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Updates , facebook store now open



Hey guys, just some general information updates for ya’ll.

I started working as a registered nurse at an acute psychiatric hospital, I work per diem right now which allows me a more flexible schedule, but as of lately I have been working every shift I can to solidify my training in a facility.  I like it.  Hawaii remains my base but I travel out to Arizona to complete nursing assignments.

Veil production has been slow lately due to my demands at work.  Now that temperatures are starting to drop, I will likely start dyeing up some goodies.

I have temporarily closed the etsy store.  I am trying out a new store platform that is right on the A’Kai Silks facebook page.  That way you can message me directly through facebook and not have to switch over to etsy.  The link is https://www.facebook.com/akaisilkshawaii/app_251458316228

Now I can offer up silk goods but also any other items I choose to sell off.

For now, the main website that used to be at http://www.akaisilks.com is no longer in operation.  It became too much work to maintain a website so I opted for facebook instead.

I have a few clothing items left (from the yoga clothing endeavor that I started).  Some of the pieces are in Hawaii and I will list those when I return in two weeks.  I may take it up again in the future but for now , the nurse job has me plenty busy .





from Pensacola to Sonic Bloom


Some 15 odd years ago, may have been longer.. who’s counting.. I was spending the summer in Pensacola Florida.  I worked at a seaside restaurant on Santa Rosa island and quickly made friends both inland and along the sugar white beaches.  Shaggy had a veggie burrito shop next door to the restaurants, I spent many nights playing in the waves with that crowd.. it was along that beach I first experienced the phosphorescent glow.  I was in love.

Fourth of July, I was hurrying to get my shift done.  Outside the party had already started.  People were everywhere in the sultry humid night.

A band was set up right there in the sand.  They were a small band, if memory serves only three or four of them at the time.  They were not on a stage and played with the crowd surrounding them.

The drummer passed me his red stripe beer and asked if I would mind holding it.  Then he tossed into a frenzy of drum beating like I’ve never seen.  I still remember the sinister look on his face as he beat away at the drums.  I was spellbound by their sound.  I loved the intensity and that they were within the crowd.  It was the first true beach jam I can remember in my 20s.

I do not get starstruck by musicians and have a handful of them that are personal friends.  Aside from Chris Cornell (heart thump) .. yea we all have one.  So I mix easily with crowds and musicians.  This guy took back his beer, slugged it and asked me to join them further down the beach for a drum jam.

We were out til the sunrise hours, a group of maybe 30 of us, with drums and music, some of us were swimming in the dark.  It was one of the most magical nights I ever encountered.

I never did catch the young man’s name and we never exchanged contact info.. I didn’t have a cell back then but just enjoyed the night and their music.

Someone later told me it was Sound Tribe Sector Nine, or STS9 .  Who are now the headliners for Sonic Bloom.

I can’t say I know one member of the band, in fact I can’t rightfully name one song, but I do enjoy their music.  What a wave of success they have had.

So I suppose for all the festivals and shows I may have missed out on, this tiny little beach jam remains in my memory as extra special .  No stage, no lasers, no art exhibits.  Just a beach and a bunch of us hooligans.

Wishing my STS9 clan brothers well as they embark on our Sonic Bloom adventure.  There’s SO many great acts here.. Shpongle of course, my deep hearted favorite, and Trancident, and dozens of others that will be music to the ears.  Check out their lineup and if you google a soundcloud of Sonic Bloom, you can hear many of the artists gracing the stage.

Can’t Stop Now , past, present, and future


First for a couple of logistical updates.. this blog has always served as the second A’Kai Silks website.  A static site which was located at http://www.akaisilks.com became difficult to keep updates as I always had new photos.  So I created this blog as a secondary site to write when the urge hit, whether it was content related to A’Kai Silks or anything else.

I let the site expire and have not been writing much lately.. a few facebook posts and some sharing of images on instagram to keep connected with friends.  I still intend to point the URL so that googling A’Kai Silks will land you here, but this blog site is no longer strictly for silks.  There’s a lot of outdates posts and images here as well, but after spending a day and a half reorganizing all the photos and music on the MAC to trim it down, I’ll remove old posts from the blog eventually.

The online store will remain open at http://www.akaisilks.etsy.com .  The email will remain akaisilksinfo@yahoo.com .  If I have stock of silk it will be listed in the store.  On occasion I may be able to offer custom orders but the best place to look for anything will be at the store link.  I will respond to store related emails as soon as possible.  I will continue dyeing silk but production will vary depending on where I am at and how much I’m working as a nurse.

I am not moving away from Hawaii, I will be maintaining two residences, one in Hawaii and one in Arizona.

I just renewed my RN license in Hawaii and am now licensed in the state of Arizona as well.  When I first graduated nursing school in Arizona, I had considered working as a travel nurse but my older son was still barely older than a toddler and the timing wasn’t right.  Ironically, I started A’Kai Silks before graduation and due to its success I ran with it.  I reinstated my nurse license in Hawaii a few years ago but was never quite satisfied with the job opportunities I found.  I became discouraged and started to stagnate in the nursing field.  I gathered some valuable experience in case management but I always liked psychiatric and hospice nursing since my B.S. degree was in psychology.  I really didn’t want to get stuck in a nine to five work week because it doesn’t resonate with the lifestyle that I make a priority.  So, in November 2014 I took some time off from nursing but being on an island, options can be rather limiting.  I know that I enjoy working afternoon/evening shifts, and prefer to work a few days a week since I have no debt.  A’Kai Silks was tiding me over and then I decided to go for a visit in Arizona.

Arizona has always been a home base.  I admit that Phoenix is hot and I loathe the dry air at times, being used to the fragrant perfect humidity and year round good weather in Hawaii, one can get spoiled.  My last trip to Arizona was a train wreck.  I had badly needed a reprieve from full time responsibilities for a while and my overall health was in bad shape.  It ended in a tangled mess and my health was worse off than when I had arrived to Arizona in 2013.  A member of my own family made things increasingly difficult for me as I fought daily to get my health at a functional level again.  I learned quickly who my real family was and that unfortunately, history will repeat itself, especially when you enable toxic people to keep at it.  I’ve had a bad run with toxic people, a year long friendship recently ended because I was able to recognize that this person was a complete mooch who took advantage of my generosity repeatedly.  Enabling.  Certain people will continue to treat you poorly if you are easy to forgive their crappy behavior.  Make all the boundaries you want, sadly it will continue if you allow it to.  I could title the last two years of life ENABLING.  However.. good hearts prevail and those two are now history.  That’s a post for another day.  PS I don’t like mooches.  I have zero respect for any able bodied person who lets someone else pay their way all the time.  i’m not referring to those down and out on their luck or disabled .. I’m referring to grown men who are dominated by some outdated ego of themselves that the world should “pay them to be them because they are legendary”  and let the woman (or any friend) pay for everything.  All the time.  And I also have zero respect for anyone who lives solely off the alimony of the ex who is stuck serving a life sentence of slaving away at a job and can barely make ends meet while she lives on a couch and asks for more money.  Yeah, I retain some bitterness.  This all ties in to Arizona.  Be patient.  

Sooo.. a job opportunity opened up in Hawaii so I fled back to the island, vowing to not return to Arizona again.  I wanted to close that chapter for good.  The stress of the new job quickly took its toll .  I was circulating back into the same environment I had left before.  I couldn’t catch my breath , everything seemed to go wrong.  The brief two year period where I had worked in case management, had my own apartment, a good social and activity life, I just couldn’t seem to get it back.  My solace was in the water, out sailing with the crew I am proud to call my friends (and to this day I still sail with them).  I spent hours on that boat, evaluating life decisions and wondering, what was next.

So one could understand my hesitance about going back to Arizona for a “vacation.”  Why would I want to jump back in to the fire?  On April 30, after quite a bit of doubt and waffling, I knew that seeing my older son was most important.  And I had to check in on dad because a car accident left him a bit more broken than he let on to me over the phone.

I hit the ground running.. the flurry of activity was instantaneous.  After a great evening with my dad, the next day I saw my 19 year old son and my brother.  My son (birth name Morgan, but he has changed it to Xav), is an exceptional young man, wise beyond his years but is going through his own period of stagnation, and I have every bit of faith he will figure it out.  We spent sunset in the Superstition Mountains just east of Phoenix, a place I used to visit often when I was going through nursing school.  Action take one.. it was dark as we were walking back to the jeep.  I was busy jabbering away about snakes, taking care to scuff my feet along the gravel to warn any desert critters that I was coming.  I paused at the top of the hill to admire how the desert rocks sparkle a bright silver in the full moon, Xav turned to me and shouted “MOM” .. boy talk about a connection between mother and son.  The fear in his voice made me jump straight up in the air (yay adrenaline).  I had no idea why I jumped upwards, maybe an instinctual reaction over the fear in his voice.  Coiled between my feet was a rattlesnake, maybe two feet long.  I did not hear him rattle.  He struck at me and by the grace of all the desert spirits, I don’t know how he missed me.  Xav and I ran to the jeep, our hearts pounding, and of course I questioned if it had just been a twisted piece of wood.  We used the flashlight from Xav’s phone and carefully walked back a few steps, and sure enough, a rattlesnake was moving towards us.  Even in the darkness I could see his silvery shape and he looked like water rolling down an incline.  Dude.  Welcome back to the desert girl.  We piled in to the jeep but had to turn on the engine and wait, because the rattler had slid underneath the car and I didn’t want to run him over.  Xav and I talked excitedly as he insisted I check my legs to make sure I wasn’t bitten, and eventually the snake moved on.  It was game on.

The pace only accelerated as the next day I reunited with a dear friend from college that I had not seen in 20 years.  I was treated to a road  trip north to the pine forests of Prescott.  I quickly remembered how much I loved road trips, and during my month long stay in Arizona, the weekend road trips/escape up north were something I looked forward to.

On one trip we started in Prescott and went over Mingus Mountain, through Jerome, drove through Sedona and Oak Creek Canyon, all the way up to Flagstaff where we had both gone to college together at NAU.  I experienced a flood of memories so powerful that it was difficult to process it all.  It was in Flagstaff, during those college days, with S and E, two wonderful guys and those I hold in the highest regard, that I discovered a renewed love of nature.  In between music sessions, we spent a lot of time exploring the woods and canyons around Flagstaff.  In a way it was like a second childhood for me, an awakening to being on my own, running around in full moonlit forests in the snow, watching the sunflowers and aspen bloom in summer.  Despite the bad experience in Phoenix in 2013, the magic of the north lands is much more powerful and made me fall in love all over again .

In between the road trips and adventures with my son, I got to spend quality time with my dad.  While he was at work during the day, I quickly set up a place to dye silk and was back in business again the moment the silk arrived.

I had long thought about travel nursing.  As mentioned earlier, the options for variety in nursing jobs in Hawaii are pretty limited.  It took only a moment of thinking about it to make the decision to apply for licensure endorsement.  I would maintain my registered nurse license in Hawaii, but I decided to walk straight in to the board of nursing office in Arizona and the application was turned in instantly.

You know when you make a good decision about something, that all the details start falling seamlessly into place?  Job opportunities opened up immediately.  I had to jump through the arduous hoops of being licensed.  I realized with a complacent grin that all the time I had spent in Hawaii working as a nurse was about to pay off in a very liberating way.  I did not want to leave Hawaii.  But Arizona has so many job options, and I quickly found one that fit perfectly (there’s actually a few but the others require a longer time commitment and it’s good to have that option, in fact I can do both).  When I was a CNA, then an LPN climbing the ranks in nursing school, I worked for agencies during that time and loved the freedom of building my own work schedule.  If I needed extra money I could take on an extra shift.  If I needed to study for finals, I could take a week off .

How perfect that this could be integrated in to my responsibilities as a parent and my restless nature to move about.  An overview of the budget quickly assures me that I can do quite well working three days a week.  It is more than enough to cover the minimal expenses and actually save up.  Xav and dad seem quite happy that I’ll be around, and flying back to Hawaii to spend a month with the young one will be a piece of cake.  There are some expenses associated with such a lifestyle.. for now I will be renting a car to get to work (the island car is staying here) , and travel to Hawaii will be costly.  But four shifts a month will cover the expense of both!  And unlike the per diem offered in Hawaii where you may only get 2 or 3 shifts per month, the agency has plenty of work and I will be able to go to everything from residential care homes, acute and inpatient facilities, I can work with elderly or with adolescents..  And they staff in other states!  So once I’m licensed in Colorado, won’t that be a bummer to spend a week in the Rockies working then zipping over to one of many music festivals.  Heck, even Costa Rica which rivals Hawaii in awesomeness can be earned with six days of consecutive work and a plane ride south.

The beautiful bonus is that I have space to dye silks in both Hawaii and Arizona.  I don’t have to choose between a nurse job and A’Kai Silks.  And I won’t have to choose between mainland life and island life.

“If you don’t choose, everything remains possible.”  Mr. Nobody

That clothing stuff ..

As many of you know, I took off to Arizona for a month and just returned to Hawaii.  I have decided to put the organic cotton clothing on hold for now.. I just ran into too many problems with it.  As time permits I will go thru and edit out some of the posts I made about the clothing pieces and also disable the page links created .  So there may be some outdated links and product images listed for now .  I may pursue it again in the future but I lost too much money on it to continue for now.  I’ll be selling off many of the original samples in the etsy store at http://www.akaisilks.etsy.com   .  They are in perfect unused condition ..I am keeping some of the pieces but I ended up losing weight so some of them don’t fit anymore.  That’s it for now..

Arizona proud and light


Been awhile since I’ve posted.. such is the swirl of life and the ever change of a wild one.

I had intended to be here in Arizona for a week (evidenced by the small suitcase) , my last experience here was less than favorable.  Phoenix is not my favorite city but I think I’m better at braving the heat and venom than dodging tornadoes or digging out of snow.

I enjoy the north land of Arizona much more but on a whim I came here and opportunities started springing up with little effort, the desert opened up, a short unseasonal reprieve from the usual May temperatures.. I ran quickly like blue light at night and “things” started lining up.  Dabbled with some incredible days of off roading, reuniting with friends and the very close pack of family here .

I miss the softness of the water, the gentle rocking nature of a boat affects the psyche.  The spiral of blue and white clouds over rain drenched hills.

BUT once here it was easy to slip on the boots and metal, and prepare for survival.  Everyone thinks of heat .. yes there’s plenty of that and it will become a hellish torment until October .  The heat and lack of green things agitate people, they drive fast, they want shelter, they wake with desert arthritis and a mouth of cotton.  One has to rise in the morning and start the hydration process immediately.

And you get ready to take some bruises.  I can’t speak for all Arizona women (wildcats you know who you are) but to keep up with the boys, and in some cases pass them up, you need a bit of venom.  I’ve been bitten and stung enough and pricked with cactus needles enough to possess in my blood the venom necessary .. the strong people I know, they just simply say “just fucking deal with it”  .. combined with the loving gentle mermaid , the metallic Selket MUST keep the fangs tucked but hey, you choose if you are going to die or if you are going to survive.

Not everyone enjoys the beauty of the desert.  Most fall in love with the red rocks of Sedona.  Everything bites, stings, and is brightly colored or banded.  My first day here I saw the first rattlesnake I have ever seen here.  Long story short I have no idea how I jumped out of the way of his strike .. maybe I’m a cat.

And yet when I leave the island and return here, I feel at home.  I shed the tail (and some skin) , get pierced, get colorful, and drive.  A lot.  You hit the ground running here and you decide if you’re going to roll in the dust or adapt fast.

After all these years of being on the island, and coming back here, it appears I have an opportunity to have both and it’s something so obvious that I kinda wonder what I was waiting for.  More on that later.

Let’s just say, when you make wishes on shooting stars in the desert, they manifest quickly.

Tunes to fit the day?  How about Dirtwire eh?

stagnation.. letting go

Many people who have a near death experience witness their life passing before them in minutes.  I was not near death yesterday, but for the previous days I had been elevated in a dance induced euphoria.  The body felt weightless (and limitless) .. I often joke how I’m ready to trade in the human body form to take on another form.. preferably something that can fly. It was a very unusual day and as I settled back into a non-euphoria state, (no drugs or alcohol, this is solely induced by dance/music) , I felt as if the last 15 years of my life was not flashing but pounding like a heartbeat.

I had felt quite certain about where I was headed , suddenly every lesson (many repeated a few times for full impact) and some of the resulting experience/wisdom surfaced .  What I had thought were some tempting options with regards to career, lifestyle, balance of other things.. which before had seemed easy options to strive for, suddenly halted.  Like multiple doors slamming shut.  Slamming.

I do not understand where this sudden feeling came from but I was metaphorically balling up every wish, dream, idea, hope .. into a tangle of fishing wire, setting it on fire, and dispersing the ashes over the ocean.  Metaphorically.  Some of those dreams are decidedly outdated and must be put away.

But it left me feeling lifeless and I shut down.  I wanted to escape my own head but it was there to remind me all day.  I yanked a lifeless body around and tried to still my mind in the woods.. a temporary fix.  It leaves one breathless to have 15 years of life pounding on you, demanding attention.  I tried to let the waves take me out, surrender, go with the flow, roll with it.  I talked myself out of boarding a plane and heading to a remote location off the grid and disconnecting indefinitely to the cyber world.  I waited for the chaos of thoughts to soothe .

Today is a bit more settled.  Yesterday still hangs over like..well a hangover .  It’s too much to think about .  It’s too much to push aside.  I have no answers.  I don’t even know what to decide on.  15 years surfaced and slid into the ocean, threatening to take me with it, with no snorkel.

Letting go is a hard process, one I should have experience with.  I hoped for clarity after the storm but now it feels a bit stagnant.. so I wait.  And try not to think about it too much.  What a long strange trip it’s been.

are we getting close up and personal?

Have you ever experienced a sense of accomplishment only to realize you still have a long ways to go?  The sun has set on another day, now mid March 2015, and the tasks seem to have multiplied.

Sunset Hawaii

The final samples are due to arrive on March 23, making their global trek from Bali, Indonesia.  Which is great, I will have new, custom made clothing to wear and if all goes well, I can offer some really attractive pieces to the public.  I enjoy tracking the progress on the blog, but I’m quickly running out of teaser photos.  In October, I had a few photos of the clothing taken.  They were more useful as “concept” photos (and an excuse to be in the trees again).  Along the way, my team and I have had to work on dye color corrections, establishing a paypal account (we are still struggling with that one).  I did not anticipate so many setbacks.  When I have an idea in mind and have spent a chunk of change on initial investments (fabric, shipping, pattern making, dyeing and re-dyeing) , I get impatient and pray that things will work out.  I did not set out to make stylish clothing to get rich, it was a self serving need because I refuse to pay $70 for a basic black blouse at Macy’s that’s made out of cheap fabric and has no originality to it.  The perils of island living.  Stubborn behavior and a need for well fitting clothing has kept this wheel turning.  I want to get excited that it’s so close to completion, but there’s still a lot of work to be done.

Aside from straightening out a paypal account so that I can pay my team, I’ve been preparing sizing charts, finalizing prices, and researching various other online store venues.

Sizing: Part of my original motivation to have clothing made for myself.  At a tall 5’8″ body frame, most stores have sizes that fall short.  I need the length because I am tall, but a large size garment that will accomodate my height ends up hanging like a billowing tent.  Boooo!  After some experimentation, I figured out that layering separates is better.  Wrap tops have become my best friend.  Now I can wear a slim fitting tank and a wrap top that shapes nicely around the cleavage without hanging straight down like a potato sack.

Bear with me on the photos, since everything is still currently with the team in Bali, I am unable to take more photos.  I have discovered that photographing dark colored clothing is a challenge because it does not show detailing or stitching.  White can appear washed out too.  But I’m building a framework with what I have, it will all come together.

This is a close up photo of one of the wrap tops.  I was not able to close in on the detailing along the outer cuffs of the arms.  It’s super cute and is perfect for layering.   The ties allow for easy adjustment and look!  I do have a waist !


Here’s a pic of the cranberry yoga top underneath.  I wish I could zoom in a bit more.  The cut outs are really cute .  This top is one of the most comfortable pieces I own.  Great for yoga workouts, absorbent for hiking, and it has a flattering shape without being too tight.  You can wear a yoga bra underneath it (pictured here with black , but for a fun color mix , a dark teal looks awesome and is so “A’Kai.”   An added benefit to this top is that it can be worn with the cut outs in back.  Unwrap the white top for aerial silk class and you have a form fitting top.  After class, the white top can be worn , instantly transforming the outfit into something with long sleeves in case it’s chilly out.


I have never been a fan of shorts.  But occasionally it’s nice to mid length pants to hike in when the trail is muddy and you don’t want to drag the ends through mud.  I never thought I would wear something with “ruffles.”  A fellow hula hooper convinced me when learning knee hooping that it’s useful to feel the hoop around the back of your knees.  Voila, capri length pants.  No, I protested, tall chicks in ruffle capris, huh uh.  They look cute on petite girls.  After wearing them I was sold.

Here’s a pic that shows a bit of a close up along the ruffles.  I don’t like the word ruffles.  Can we call them.. petals?  Or leaflets?  I’ve seen something similar sold in the yoga shops, I tried them on and was shocked over the price, and the fact that in outdoor light, you could see right through them.  The fabric we are using is thicker.  It’s not bulletproof but you can relax knowing all the stretching you are doing is not going to split them down the middle.  Yeah baby!

ruffle capri

Versatility:  I have always been a fan of clothing that can mix and match up with other clothing separates.  I love having multiple users for one article of clothing.

The high low dress with its attractive lace up tie can also be worn as a long skirt.  Check out the back of the dress (I like to wear it strapless style for a sexy outdoor style).

high low dress

This same dress is also a high low skirt.  I love wearing it with the lace up detailing over the butt, it can also be turned to wear with the lace up over one side.  You now have something equally as perfect for the office.

high low skirt

Here’s another style of skirt I’m working on that is definitely more of a casual beach style.  The splits over each leg make it easier to walk in (or hoop in).  The splits over each leg allow for enough room to wear your favorite thigh high boots.  This one is still in progress..

double split beach skirt

Another clothing item you could not convince me I would wear is a snug fitting mini skirt over a pair of pants.  A benefit to these slim fitting pants is that the mini skirts (which will be sold separate so that they can be paired up with other pants) fit beautifully without getting all bunched up .  Again I will attempt to get more close up photos of the detailing but hopefully this photo shows off the somewhat scalloped style.  The white mini skirt in the photo below is worn over a pair of split leg pants that has a more relaxed fit.  The mini can be substituted out for a fringed hipscarf for a boho style.

mini skirt

Here’s another photo of the same mini skirt worn over the split leg pants.  The mini helps streamline the entire outfit so you can layer your outfit without adding more bulk.  Shown here with the sleeveless hooded cardigan.  Because you never know when you may need a hood.  This photo also shows the fun side split in the pants, held closed by buttons.  You see where I’m going with this?  Separates that can be layered in endless combinations and colors.  Are you cold at the office because someone has decided to use the air conditioner again?  That sleeveless cardigan wraps smoothly over a long sleeve top as well.  Layers not only add color but can be conveniently added to adjust your body temperature to the environment.

mini skirt with cardigan

There is one style of mid length pants that has an attached mini skirt.  They have become my favorite elven hike in the woods pants.  The mini skirt is sewn in to the pants and I like how the pointy corners of the skirt mimic the bottom edge of the pants.  These are really fun!  Shown here with the classic V neck princess top.

elven capri

Colors:  The use of color has always been an  important part of A’Kai Silks.  I have some ideas of what I’d like to do regarding color but I’ll be starting with some well liked basics.  For now I’m playing with photo editing to give an idea of how some of the chosen colors will look.  Except for the long sleeved hooded wrap, the clothing will be solid colors and lean towards earthy vamp shades in deep forest, burgundy, magical purple, jeweled teal, black, etc.  You might see some very subtle gradient colors on the long sleeve wrap, only because the shape of the garment lends itself perfectly to some excellent two tone ombres.  With the exception of white since I love how the split leg pants turned out, the color palette will be in rich, deep color hues.  This will require more photos once the final package is here.  For now, below are some general ideas of colors based on the lace up hooded black dress.

vampire red  forest green

In the next section I’ll share some ideas of how and where I’ll be listing items for sale to the public.  Although I have an open etsy store that gets a good deal of traffic, etsy requires a very long questionaire with photos and details about my team in Bali.  All information I have shared here in the blog post.  I’ll get on that soapbox next time around.  Stay tuned..

The flower is almost ready to bloom

I am not always the most patient kind of person, especially when I have ideas about something and I want to turn it into something tangible.

We are one step closer to being ready to offer the organic cotton blend yoga clothing to the public.  We have tested different fabrics, dyed colors, and I have had the fun job of wearing the sample items around to test their flexibility and durability.

A brief history:  A couple of years ago when I visited Costa Rica, I found a lovely boutique that sold a variety of shirts made from organic cotton fabric.  There was nothing particularly fancy about the tops but I bought four of them because they were loose fitting, comfortable, easy to wash, and were perfect for the humid environment.  They proved to be worth the cost of quality fabric.  I spent the rest of the trip wearing these tops.  Two years later they remain my favorite pieces to wear, and after multiple washings, they remain intact and wonderfully comfortable.

I toyed with the idea of sourcing organic cotton fabric to make clothing items but the idea went on the backburner since I was working full time as a registered nurse.  I knew I wanted to combine styles that were perfect for dance and hula hooping, offering flexibility and comfort but also stylish enough to wear outside of the studio.  Something like a cross between resort or island wear, and yoga/dance wear.  With the help of skilled seamstresses, we were able to create a simple but stylish line of separates, which will grow in diversity over time.

My team is my “second family” residing in Bali, Indonesia.  I had the opportunity to spend time with them a few years ago when I vacationed in Bali.  We remained in contact and I finally decided it was time to see if we could make this happen.  While China may dominate certain manufacturing markets (as I discovered on my trip to Shanghai many years ago), I discovered that there were many skilled artisans who work collectively in Bali.  It was a family style environment and was much smaller scale, enabling me to commit to a start up without taking out a loan and paying for large minimum orders.  Over the years I have enjoyed working with international suppliers, those in China who made the silk half circle veils in plain white (so that I could dye them) , we also experimented with nightgown designs and silk dresses.  I worked with a supplier in India as well, one who has become a long time friend and although she no longer makes the sequin skirts that I used to offer, we remain in contact.

Fast forward to Bali, and the wonderful family team I met on my trip.  My production manager, Ko, oversees the pattern creation, the color selections, and overall quality/production of the clothing.  When I visited Bali, Ko was an excellent host and we spent many hours traveling by motorbike to different fabric suppliers.  Ko and I spent a lovely day sightseeing as well, he took me to Tanah Lot, then we drove up north and enjoyed some of the best tea I’ve ever had.  We ended the day with a sunset dinner in Ubud, a place I fell wildly in love with and hope to return to again soon.

Life happened, and I was swept back into the nursing world with its stressful demands and long hours.  I had hoped to work on the creation of a clothing line in the evenings after work, but I was too emotionally drained and still wanted to maintain some of my other activities like sailing and hiking.  I allowed my health to suffer under the last job, until in November of 2014, I decided to enjoy a hiatus.  With money saved from the job, I sent the initial investment to the team in Bali and our work began.

As with any start up, progress can be slow.  My production manager was able to source the fabric rather quickly.  We decided upon a organic cotton blend that had the softness I prefer in clothing, combining enough stretch in the fabric to allow for unrestricted movement, and thick enough so that it was not see through.  I spent many days checking out other yoga clothing sources and was surprised at the thin fabric being used.  I love some of the more sculptured style with cut outs, attractive lettuce hems, lace up leggings.  Naturally those pieces are priced higher because more sewing is involved.  But I was disappointed that the fabric was thin and in certain lighting, was a bit see through.  So, although it cost a bit more, I decided on a thicker fabric that has all the great qualities of bamboo fabric (which is worth every penny, and if you own anything in bamboo you will agree);  the higher cost of the fabric was worth having something built to last.

Rainy season delayed the dyeing of fabric, the first test run did not produce the colors we wanted so we tried again until we were happy with the colors.  We agreed on some basics.. black, burgundy, red, teal, purple.. with more being added to the palette in the future.  I was on the fence about including white.  Every time I wear white I spill something on it.  However, after taking photos on Thanksgiving Day and seeing how the white color appeared so crisp and versatile, I decided to include it as a color option.   If all goes well, I will get more creative with the color selections.  I love to layer clothing and use colors.  Imagine if you will a canyon copper color for pants and a snug top, with a lighter colored sunset russet colored wrap vest in the same color family, but with a bit of contrast.  Top it off with golden accessories, and you have something that is stylish, comfortable, easy to care for, easy to pack and travel with, and has a lot of versatility meaning it can be worn for the usual workout or dance practice, but then also dressed up with a few accessories.    If you are familiar with the A’Kai Silks color designs on the silk veils, you will already know I love to use colors.   You can anticipate seeing some very subtle two tone ombres on select pieces but it will be a gradual smooth color blend.. less tropical than the silks that take on the glow of the islands, more earthy under the influence of the desert southwest.

So far, I have a few photos that have been posted but they do not show some of the detailing of the garments.  The photos have been rather spontaneous and usually just a quick run to get a visual so that I could build a basic framework.  It has been a good excuse to explore the many hiking trails we have in Hawaii .  Because there will be at least five colors to choose from, and I wish to present some ideas on how the separates can be coordinated according to style and color layering, it will take a while to build a complete portfolio, but that is part of the fun.  As I wait for the next package to arrive from Indonesia , I have plenty to do with building a introductory price list, descriptions of the items, researching the best shipping prices from Indonesia, and writing out the descriptions.  Wow, all the kinds of things I love to do.  As with the silk veils photographs, I’m aiming for a visual representation that reflects not only an article of clothing but a LIFESTYLE.  It took over 15 years to build the color catalog for silk veils, and the catalog is almost like a timeline of A’Kai’s evolution as well, starting in Arizona, blossoming in Colorado, putting the pedal to the metal in San Francisco, then peaking in Hawaii .  You guys will have to remind me to take close up photos of the clothing items.. the sewing is not overly complicated and I admit to being in new territory.  With veils, an outdoor area and room to dance, they took over and I was just there to hold them in the wind.  I’m certain to have a lot of dance/motion photos of the garments but I do need to exercise a different lens to capture the cut outs, the thickness of the folded waistband, the general size of the hoods, the lace up detailing on the dress.  So while I’m excited to splash a few photos here and there to get started, just know that more photos will be coming.

just a lyric/music share today

Cathedral Rock


“Holyground” ~Kan’Nal~

We walk on holy ground.
We are the temple thats not made by hands.
To change the world,
change your vision of it.
In this dream there is no blame,
we’re the creators of this mess we’re in.
Its time we seek to find some solutions,
for the old ways are killing us.
The most beautiful of all life lives within
the without.
And all places in between.
So lay me down upon the solid ground
and teach me somthing
from the ancient of days.
Your king of hearts wears a bloody crown.
Now I feel an open wound from a hidden sword.
Wait…I think its ok.
within the without.



spinning out of retrograde and maintaining boundaries

sirena dress

Who knows if the planets have an effect on us.. the sun makes us warm, the moon is reported as making us wacky.  So if Mercury in retrograde has really yielded a slow down effect over the last few weeks, then according to the astronomers, this is the last day.

Is it coincidence that I ended up down and out sick for almost a week, necessitating an IV of fluids at the clinic?  How about old friends appearing back again?  Losing keys?  Miscommunications?  All reported effects of M.R.

Shrug.  The days have been perfect unrushed bliss.  It has taken a few months to truly unwind from the pressure of the previous job.  The focus has been on dropping any residual anxiety, retraining myself to sleep at night (most nights have been pretty good), and being outside as much as possible.  I have felt energy surges and although my brain still feels like it’s in a bit of a fog, there has been an overall peace and happiness.  The layers really have to peel back slowly before the shoulders can drop and a deep breath can be enjoyed.

I have noticed a certain firm conviction in that old wise voice.  Communication with a certain friend has been tested and I am pleased that I can maintain a polite but very firm “I am not going to put up with that” .  I believe in second chances, in third chances, we all make mistakes as we evolve .  However as the adage says, certain repeated behaviors by people can’t and won’t be tolerated and it feels like successful growth to not react but simply to say “no more, you are blocked.”

I am enjoying the freedom of non-rushed days and feel it has been long overdue to step off the rushing train to re-evaluate priorities, and decide what is most important.  In the midst of a heavy work week, it’s easy to get caught up in a whirl of activity , then lay awake at night and try to sort out thoughts and feelings.  It starts to build up and becomes a tangled ball like a glob of black hair clogging a drain.  But once it’s removed the water runs clear again.

There are increasing windows of a quiet but very full feeling of happiness and not worrying about the ten thousand possible parallel lives.  There is a renewed interest in activities and a remembrance how a simple average day can be a great day.

So, retro.. you may be back again and in each rotation we can choose to climb up or fall back down and recirculate without moving forward.

I heard you loud and clear.  This last retro seemed to focus on returning patterns of health and toxic friendships.  I’m holding firm.

Colors of the big island, Hawaii



I dyed this set on the big island of ‪#‎Hawaii‬ I remember poetic days of ocean breeze rippling thru the trees as I worked outside of the most beautiful house . Quiet solitude where I could hear the whales and the tropic rain. Silks were in full production and each day saw a new bouquet of gold, indigo, lapis, marine, Ohia Lehua , mango. Mesmerizing lull of coqui frogs lava flow and the beginning and end of molten Earth. My new Asian eyed baby boy cuddled against me during afternoon naps and endless beauty of optimistic time blending with ribbons of light. Fire flowers green languid vines sugarcane twisting with honey hued skies powerful raw edged deep blue sea waves embracing abundant water life in the form of Dolphins and Gilled fairies . Mermaid siren song inspired dresses gracefully draped over sun sculpted necklines adorned with pearled seashells. Buttery soft cream colored sarongs entwined with plush velvet tentacles always lifting and rippling in the wind. Curled plumes of smoke gray with blood red sparks contrasting with the silver black crusted lava fields rich with the stories of the ancients. Dense mauna pua mountain flowers blanketing secret labrynths leading to the core vortex and gifting new eyes with interlocked tide pools generous with brush strokes of painted coral and a haven for the manta rays. In this place the rainbows had a scent and the purity of dance and breath replaced the ego facade of human civilization Music notes replaced words and the stars danced above the dusk soaked ocean forever humming its mystic wisdom.  

more silk veil options added to the store

Follow the link at http://www.akaisilks.etsy.com

These are made to order however check back for stock veils (they sell quickly)

I’m still hoping to add half circles again soon.

If you are in need of a smaller size for poi or spinning flags, I can create a made to order listing for you.

bint charisma crimson jem1 sunrisemerk tickle


Progress on clothing!

Ok just a quick update on progress .. currently selecting colors to use for the clothing line.. will be starting off with a few basic favorites..black, red, purple, teal, blue .. and since many folks liked how the white pants appeared in the photo I’ll probably offer white as well ..yes they can get dirty easy but white is soooo crisp and pretty. Delays are because we are working on offering excellent quality. The fabric we found is stretchy and sturdy.. I see too many yoga pants that are see thru so we opted for a more pricey fabric that eliminates this problem. What I’m wearing here is a very form fitting top with a sweetheart neckline and asymmetrical edges, it shapes nicely around the bust but still has the freedom needed for movement. The pants have a roll waistband and have side splits with button closures. I’m wearing a stretchy micro mini skirt over the pants. , the skirt is not attached to the pants so it can be worn over other pants or capris. It is slim enough to wear a belt over the top or as is. Soooo colors are coming together then the garments can be sewn up. I’d REALLY like to stock all colors and sizes but there are about 18 items total so far and keeping that much stock will be very expensive. For now items will be made to order in a variety of sizes from XS to XL. We will be putting together general measurements and tags shortly. The clothing won’t be custom measurements, but instead general sizes. Since there is stretch it should work great. We will be narrowing down how long it will take to place an order and have the order shipped, right now I do not have firm prices or a turnaround time. Creation from scratch is so fun!! Crossing fingers that I can roll out availability by end of February and have lots of time to have things ready by fest season. Tell your friends. Summer tour peeps. balance

Has Life Style ever been so important?

One of the things that entices an overworked person to move to a paradise island is the ideal of living a simpler more holistic lifestyle.  As I near my tenth year in the Hawaiian islands, I can say with  absolute certainty (and proof) that it has been forever life changing.  What first appealed to me as great weather and jaw dropping scenery has encouraged an outdoor lifestyle that is priceless.  Occasional island fever and fear of missing out on a mortgage on a large house on the mainland is always offset by the positive influence this magical place has made on health and how I view abundance and prosperity.

But you know, we have to make ends meet too.  Many other locals will attest to it being expensive to live in paradise, but our costs are often a compromise.  Many of us don’t care about your sports car or designer hand bag.  We have learned to pair down material possessions to fit in a small closet.  We don’t have to pay for heating costs.  We don’t have to buy winter wardrobes.  The beach.. is free!   But, we don’t spend every day dangling our toes in the turquoise water.  We do have to work.  We balance the need for income with the more important desire for health and a relaxed pace.  People live longer and are happier.

I sort of forgot some of these things with a recent job that wanted me to do 50 hours of work for 30 hours of pay.  One day off a week wasn’t enough and despite my best efforts at time management and creativity, there was not enough time in the day to enjoy the life I originally moved here for.

So I did the right thing and quit in November.  I had some money saved up and I quickly downsized by moving out of an expensive apartment, quickly remembering the bliss of being able to pack up my entire life into a few boxes and a suitcase.

It took me a few weeks to unwind.  I was exhausted.  But over time I started waking up with a sense of relief that I could have an enjoyable morning with my son before sending him off to school.  That I could walk the beach before rushing off to do errands.  I could rise with the sun, listen to music and put all my attention into the creative pursuits I always enjoyed.  I started dyeing silk again, I focused more on the clothing that I want created by my friends/team in Bali, I started dancing again.  I rediscovered the rainforests.  I love the beach as much as the next local, but I had so little time at the last job to step off the grid and soak in the tree energy we are blessed with.  I missed the tourist energy in Waikiki where I had happily lived for many years.  But I did not miss the night life with its smoky bars, karaoke machines, pool tables, loud intoxicated people, and that “need” to go out and socialize every night.  That novelty had long ago worn off.  My excitement became hiking a new trail, taking photos of places I may have visited in the past but now in an unhurried pace.

I started to BREATHE again.

And I got stronger and stronger.  And lost 20 lbs without effort.  I dropped red meat from the diet and burned off energy by clinging to muddy hillsides in the bamboo.  And experiencing that fragrant scent of rain in the woods.  I was hooked.  Did I mention I lost 20 lbs?  Not from hot yoga or disciplined workouts.  Just by breathing, feeling the layers of stress melt away, making better food choices because I had time, not watching the clock when I wandered near waterfalls.

I found a peace and happiness that I had not experienced in some time.  I stopped worrying about retirement and career advancement.  I prioritized so that being outside, away from smoke and toxins and lethargy and draining relationships, was the basic necessity.

For fun I started posting photos on instagram.  Soon the photos were a log of my outdoor adventures.  Weekdays became longer and more meaningful and not something to be dreaded.  There’s still habits that need to be modified but without the tense nature of a live to make money work week, I solidified boundaries and better understood my relations with people.  Basically, I didn’t have interest in being distracted by “filler” friendships or beer induced romance ( I don’t drink alcohol ).  With clear lenses I could quickly identify things or people that didn’t flow with the simple beautiful nature of living pure and happy.  This didn’t go over well with certain people.  For expressing a polite opinion in a calm voice, I was yelled at by someone the day before Christmas.

 Red flags are easier to see when one is surrounded by green trees and one can quickly sidestep out of THAT train wreck waiting to happen.  

The phone enjoyed the mute button and communication strengthened with those who were also in pursuit of peace and happiness.  No smoke signals to cough through, life literally aligned.  For the first time in a long time, I was content (still am) ..NOT complacent, not willing to settle for “almost good enough”.  My senses sharpened.  Sleep improved and the lovely colorful dreams I enjoyed as a kid quickly came back.

I stopped mapping out every day and month.  People would ask “what are your plans for this day” or “what are you going to do next” .  Go with the flow was not the answer they wanted.  Discouraged that I would not wait next to a phone as their convenience (because my phone was turned off) it became crystal clear how I wanted to enjoy the moment and it did not involve being inside.  The Halloween haze had cleared , the holidays were over, and I did not wake up to a new year with a hangover.

I have been blessed with the opportunity to hit the reset button on some things.  I’m not willing to rush back in and mar the quiet of the mind and body.  Unless a greater need dictates otherwise, moving forward will be gently and while maintaining the uncluttered baggage free last few months.  That may mean I won’t make it to Burning Man.  Shrug.  Oh well.  I’ll opt for this, every time.

My eyes are wide open.  I’ll see you in the trees.

Photo by Twu Yong Tan Thanksgiving Day 2014

roots run deep

roots run deep

silk veil dance ..that simple

Long before I danced with veils in a bellydance class, I was simply spinning, twirling, waving, flickering with a long silk veil.  Large open spaces, no audience or glory needed.  Just silk and that undeniable urge in the body to have a silk in the hands.

Many bellydancers use the silk veil as part of their dance.  I did too, when I danced professionally in Colorado and San Francisco (and a few gigs in Hawaii) .

But one does not have to be a bellydancer to understand and use the silk veil.  This is where the English language will fail me again because veil dance is a third eye imagery, a spiral of physical energy so pure and strong you feel like a conduit to the heavens.  It’s where your stage face drops into a serene expression and you prefer to NOT be watched because you are in your moving meditation.

I’ve been creating silk veils for dancers for so many years and during that time I get focused on their creation because I want others to experience the feeling…

A few weeks ago I was able to dance again with silk and it sorta woke me up.  I forget that I need to dance with them too.  There’s no choreography to simple veil dance.  There is an intrinsic knowledge that your Higher Self will pass on to you.

I truly learned how to connect with my veils under the instruction of Adnan Sarhan, Sufi instructor based in New Mexico.  One of his teachings included tying one silk veil over our eyes so we could not see visually with our eyes .. and we could not see others, they could not see us.

A second veil was in our hands and he drummed and played music.  It may feel awkward at first to new silk dancers but to this day I recommend it.  That adage dance like no one is watching holds much wisdom in it.

My physical body has turned into this endless coil , after dedication the mind is free of the racing thoughts.  Sleep returns naturally.  Physical energy peaks.  It becomes a daily priority to be back in that space.

Here’s some early photos , I was starting to increase volume of veil production as they were in demand by other dancers..  but I spent many hours in that large sunlit rooms dancing and dancing.  I remember once being told I had danced for six hours straight save for water breaks .

early2 early3 early4 early8 early6



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